Things That Go 'Boo' In The Night!

 
I was kissed by rain during a recent run this week. It wasn’t the dark, sniveling, perpetual rain which will soon fall from a gloomy sky come November. It was a spooky rain, wild and gusty accompanied by swirling dervishes of rustling leaves. And in true Halloween fashion, there was a playfully frightful vibe hanging over the neighborhood which was dressed to the nines in Halloween trappings. Halloween brings out the fright mongers in all of us. Gaggles of ghosts, ghouls and Lady Gaga look-alikes set to the streets to startle us. But the smattering of good-natured manufactured fear was an interesting added element during this run as I was simultaneously being stifled by another kind of fear: the stupefying fear of pain.


This was my first run after 4 weeks of enduring a wretched torn Achilles tendon. I was excited at getting the green light to run again, even if it was only intervals (1 minute of running, 2 minutes of walking). But those first few steps were accompanied by an enormous lump of fear that somehow crawled out of the shadows and formed a dark cloud which sat heavily on my head, threatening to rain all over my parade. This run was turning out to be more of a trick than a treat. Instead of calming any anxiety I might have, it was bringing it on. Not a good thing.


Fear almost always relates to future events, such as worsening of a situation, or continuation of a situation that is unacceptable. Fear can also be an instant reaction to something presently happening, or things that go “boo” in the night. I’ve certainly had my share of “boos” in the night. As a young child I encountered scary recurring nightmares on a regular basis, the result of which would send me racing breathlessly to my parents room to climb into bed with them. My parents dismissed my fear as “an over-active imagination” that they hoped I would eventually grow out of. However, as an adult I was still haunted by frightening recurring dreams, four or five times a week, which lasted well into my thirties.


Fear is an emotion we all deal with, and how we handle it determines what kind of life we'll lead -- whether shackled by anxiety and dread, or empowered to conquer new challenges. Yet we spend most of our time trying to avoid fear, so we muddle along, rarely getting much better at the art of mastering it. That's a shame, because with a little effort we can find the courage to push beyond our comfort zone and tackle new worlds or situations.

 
My scary dreams did eventually go away. It took a lot of courage on my part to stand up against the fear that habitually haunted me, to look it in the eye and to tell it to get lost. But by courageously standing up to it, the demon was exorcised and the torment finally ceased.


What is courage? Courage is a kind of strength, power or resolve to meet a scary circumstance head on. Courage is called upon whenever we confront a difficult, frightening, painful or disturbing situation. When our resources are challenged or pushed to the absolute limit. When we feel threatened, weak, vulnerable, intimidated or terrified. When our first instinctive reaction is to flee. Courage, learns the Cowardly Lion in the classic film The Wizard of Oz, is something without which we can have no real self-esteem, pride or power, and must ultimately come from within rather than without.


Instead of giving in to the rising panic during that first run back, I knew I needed to somehow suppress and deal with it. To flee from it would have meant not running at all which really is not an option for me. So I thought about all the fears I've harbored over the years and the stuff that frightens me still.


It's embarrassing to admit, but I am still afraid of the dark, and the sound of the Wicked Witch's cackle from The Wizard of Oz still chills me to the bone. The Exorcist and Paranormal Activity are two movies that scare the bejeezus out of me. I guess you could say that the supernatural and paranormal well and truly scare me...all stuff of a still over-active imagination. But global environmental issues, climate change, and the devastating plight of the pollinator bee are also things that instill a good dose of fear in me and while Halloween is playfully frightful, global environmental issues are truly scary.


I still occasionally get the same scary dream, maybe only two or three times a year. But now I dismiss it as just my sub-conscious checking the air-tightness of my courage. Courage: it's not just for heroes!


After a good 15 minutes of running I finally began to relax and to even enjoy the spooky vibes of the streets. My ankle felt fine, heck it felt better than fine, it felt top-notch, so I kept on running. I summoned my courage, pushed the fear away and focused on the rain and the spiritual, uplifting energy of the wind in my face. There were ghosts and goblins everywhere, but once again I was running with delight.


Happy Halloween, my pretties!

From goulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties
And things that go bump in the night
Good Lord, deliver us!