A Modern Day Version of Love

It was the middle of August and I was at the end of my run. It had been particularly hot and steamy, a double-sweat run, and I was looking forward to a cooling shower. But as I rounded the bend before my house, I saw my neighbor Jack and I knew there was nothing I could say, nothing I could do, I was going to get a “Jack hug”. I’ve known Jack for 6 years, since we first moved in across the street from him and his common-law partner. The four of us have become very good friends over the years, spending many an afternoon sipping wine and swapping stories in their beautiful garden. Jack is a man who is amorously and gallantly attentive to women...a bona fide casanova...so no matter that I was grotesquely red in the face and dripping great pools of sweat, the hug was coming, whether I liked it or not, along with the flirty talk and the impertinent glances down the full length of me. Jack is a funny man with a sharp sense of humor who loves to talk more than he cares to listen.


Jack lives with Frances, a tall, slim, willowy woman who is always perfectly turned out no matter the time of day. Frances would never appear outside of her house, or inside of it, for that matter, dripping sweat and red in the face. She is a woman with an intensely inquisitive mind, but not in a snoopy way, she just needs to know on a constant basis why and how things are happening. She also has considerable artistic, literary and political interests and is forever entertaining her plentiful friends in her castle-like house, flooded with plants and books. Jack still keeps his bachelor pad, no doubt his asylum when Frances can no longer bare him not listening to her, or is unable to handle his butting in on her conversations with others, and will occasionally beat a hasty retreat back to the pad for a weekend of solitude and respite.


Jack and Frances are as different as apples and onions, precipitating a somewhat stormy relationship. But despite the regular tempest-in-a teacup outbursts, they have remained steadfast together for well over 30 years. You see, both Jack and Frances are 84-years old, born on the same day, and a match made right here on earth when both of them found themselves alone many years ago after losing their spouses. They never legally married, which seems almost bohemian for a couple of their generation, but somehow they have survived the perils of married life, supporting and nurturing each other through the ups and downs of many years. These days the amorous and gallant Jack-talk is all but lost on Frances and she is left with, quite simply, just Jack: short and stocky, with a sunny disposition, sometimes sharp and sometimes funny, and never one to complain.




A couple of years ago Frances was diagnosed with myeloma, a cancer which affects blood plasma cells. Plasma cells are types of white blood cells which are normally responsible for the production of antibodies. At first the myeloma made Frances quite ill and frail and she was not able to be around people for the fear of picking up an infection she wouldn’t be able to fight off. During this time, whenever we saw Jack and inquired about Frances’ condition, his face would be indelibly etched with the fear and worry over the possibility of losing her. But he never once complained. It was a difficult time and as neighbors and friends we too were worried about the fate of Frances, and to a lesser degree, Jack. But Jack being exactly who he is stepped up to the plate and nursed her through some difficult and bumpy times. With Jack attentively by her side (and with nary a bachelor pad visit to be had), Frances has survived through the worst of it and has come through the other side looking top-notch. She has even recovered her strength and inner glow.


It’s been a wonderful thing this summer to sit in my garden and hear the voice of an exasperated Frances across the street scolding Jack once again. And as I stand here, dripping with sweat and red in the face, facing this man who could easily be my father,  I wonder about the longevity of their relationship. And as Jack leans in for a hug, I get a flash of insight. Could the secret to this modern day version of love be that they were able to find "partnership" without losing their real selves? Certainly food for thought as I head off for a much needed cooling shower.