The A to Zee of Running and Me

I’m sitting here counting the hours and days until I get the green light to run again. The pain of waiting is much more agonizing than the actual pain of the injury itself. And as I sit here feeling utterly sorry for myself, I think of all the things, good and bad, that I miss about running.

A is for apparel. Technical apparel may seem extravagant, but once you go technical, you don’t go back. Technical apparel is quite simply clothing made from fabrics that offer performance features and benefits that your old cotton T-shirt doesn’t.


B is for blisters. Blisters are nasty and are caused by rubbing and irritation of the skin. For me, prevention is the key and wearing proper socks and good fitting shoes are essential. There’s nothing worse than trying to run with a big fat fluid-filled blister on your foot.


C is for Clean. This is how my mind and body feels after a good run.
 
D is for dexterity. I gained this badge with the ability to change from nightwear into full running gear in the dark, without disturbing or waking my significant other. Also, by being able to remove a long-sleeved jacket or top, while running, without stumbling or running into a tree.


E is for exercise equivalents to running:

• 60 minutes of mowing grass (non self-propelled power mower) -1 mile of running.          
• 30 minutes shoveling dry, fluffy snow - 3 miles of running.
• 20 minutes raking leaves - 1 mile of running.
• 10 minutes scrubbing bath tub and/or shower stall - 1/2 mile of running.
• 10 minutes of vacuuming - 400 meters of running.

F is for fartlek. This is a Swedish word for “speed play", a form of interval training which puts stress on the whole aerobic energy system due to the continuous nature of the exercise. I love speed play.


G is for Gps. If you found yourself alone in the woods with a useless GPS, would you know how to get your bearings?

• The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. At noon the sun will be in the south (in the Northern Hemisphere) or in the north (in the Southern Hemisphere).
• If the moon rises before sunset, the lighted side will face west. If it rises after midnight, the lighted side will be facing east.
• Power lines and railroad tracks lead to civilization. Or something close to it.
• People who are lost really do tend to walk in circles. Keep this in mind if you’re trying to maintain a straight course home. Use a series of landmarks in the distance to stay straight.
• Don’t rely on moss. The old adage that moss always grows on the north side of a tree isn’t really accurate.
• A good tip: don’t head out into the wilderness by yourself.

 H is for hills, there are 5 types:

• The Grind. It’s not that steep, but it just goes on, and on, and on...
• The Short and Sweet (my favorite). Even if it’s steep, this one is over before you know it. 
• The Mock Summit. Whew! That was a rough climb. At least it’s almost over. Oh, wait...no it’s not. Crap!
• The Zigzagger. The cool way it zigzags upward makes up for the pain it inflicts.
• The Wall. If you find yourself wondering whether walking this one might be faster than running it, you’re dealing with a Wall.

I is for ice pack to treat a sore tendon or muscle. I use frozen peas. In a pinch, you can even eat them.


J is for Jooniper Jool, my adventurous alter ego.


K is for kinky. It’s what happens to my body if I don’t run regularly to work all those kinks out.

L is for listening to my body. My body is very good at telling me things relating to physical activity, nutrition, hunger, etc. My problem is actually listening to it and understanding and heeding the messages and signs it is conveying.


M is for mileage. How many miles or kilometers I run in any given day, week, or month.


N is for neurotic. It seems the more you run, the more mentally maladjusted you become about the subject.


O is for organization of running stuff. Running is a pretty simple sport, but when you do it long enough, you tend to accumulate a lot of crap. And the more crap you have, the harder it becomes to find the particular piece of crap you’re looking for. I keep all my running and soccer stuff together, apart from my everyday, non-running things and for the most part, this keeps those frustrating searching frenzies to a minimum.


P is for Gmaps Pedometer. A google mapping application to help record distances traveled and calories burned during a running workout. I find this application invaluable when mapping out new running routes.


Q is for quads. The quadriceps femoris is the strongest and leanest muscle group in the human body. The quads are powerful extensors of the knee joint and are crucial in running.


R is for runner. A runner is anyone who runs or moves the legs more rapidly than at a walk and in such a manner that for an instant in each step both feet are off the ground. Simple as that. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different.


S is for sleep. Sleep is important though Scientists still aren’t sure why, exactly. All I know is that I feel better, run better and get sick less when I’m sleeping well.


T is for toenails, black ones.  Run long enough and you’ll wind up ruining a toenail or two. Whether it’s because your shoes are too big or too small, or the toenail gods happen to be in a foul mood, one day you will peel off your socks and see black where once there was pink. Congratulations! These bruised nails are a badge of honor bestowed upon you for toughing it out. Just don’t flash them in public. Or, like me, you could resort to an acrylic big toenail during flip-flop season.

U is for Underwear. This is a personal subject and I know many runners scoff at the very notion since running shorts have built-in liners. However, I prefer to wear underwear under my shorts and it has to be the “right” pair. There is nothing worse than dealing with the “wrong” pair of underwear while out for a run.

V is for visibility index. When running in the dark or when visibility is poor, I want to be conspicuous. Wearing colors associated with highlighters is smart and keeps me safe.


W is for wet. Whether it's raining or not, I'm always wet after a run. I’ve learned a few things about running in the rain. That my waterproof jacket is not waterproof. That a hat is priceless. That I should always take off every bit of mascara before bed. And that miserable conditions, weathered with the right attitude, can be divine.


X is for X-rated. You really would be amazed at some of the thoughts that can enter your mind during a run.


Y is for Yin and Yang. In a nutshell, Chinese Yin Yang symbols represent perfect balance. Through running, I try to achieve perfect balance of body and mind. This symbol takes on an even greater meaning for me now as I continue to deal with the constricting effects of an injury which has literally ground my running to a full stop.

Z is for zipper as thermostat. Tops, jackets, and vests with zippers are my best friends in inclement weather. It’s amazing how much you can adjust your body temperature on a run simply by finessing a zipper, or zippers, up and down as needed, depending on changes in ambient temperature, direction of the wind, uphill versus downhill running, and so on.